Twilight: #vom

So as you all know... Ju hates the Twilight series. They are a glorified collection of poorly written books that have destroyed an already overdone genre of fiction. The author is hardly top notch, her writing is, after all, meant for gaggles of 14 year old girls (the age being the key factor here). There is such better fantasy fiction, and it seems that with the imminent close of Harry Potter, Twilight launched to the foreground just so there would be another book craze. Really America? This is what you'll get behind? Harry Potter might not have been the most artfully written, but it was certainly a much better quality than this drivel.

Worse yet, is that the movie adaptation has done nothing to make up for the awful series. They have done their job, no doubt, taking a cast of actors that shrieking tweens will foam at the mouth over, and made a movie that will empty the pockets of their equally mindless mothers who will cart regiments of them in a mini-van to the movies. But the first installment, was a horrid disgrace to 2008 cinema. The display of special effects was disgusting. "Vampires" moving through the air faster than their legs were moving... really? Oh, lets not forget that they actually kept the concept where they glittered in the sunlight. Dangerous for them, huh?

All things aside, the movies have apparently improved, though they kept Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner (who is only good for what's from the neck down). This hardly makes much of a step up. Kristen's - uh, um, oh, um, eh, uh, um, oh, ah, ee, uh, oh *trembling*- acting is hardly that, and of course the least attractive, Robert Pattinson, is probably the only decent one of the lot. Though much of it is making "I'm going to eat you," eyes at Kristen, he - at least - has a personality in real life.

Suffice to say, I'm a little upset I'm being partly cowed to the next movie this Wednesday that is slated to be released the Friday after. My would have been ex-coworker has bribed me with movie boozing for accompanying her to this disaster waiting to happen. I'll be drunk. There will be tweens everywhere. I will likely go with a bomb strapped to my chest... so I guess I will be looking forward to the event. Nothing like the smell of singed tweens to take the edge off of the annoyance their mere presence stirs.

Also, someone said this and it pretty much made my day:

"Dear Stephanie Meyer,

I understand. I too wrote a bad romance.

Sincerely,

Lady Gaga"

Needless to say, this person is my hero.

PS. I wish gifs worked on here. I'd be having a field day.